Drifter’s Code

Chapter 12

Return By The Back Road

Lily awoke the next morning still reeling from the surprise “goodbye” she had gotten the night before. She was pissed that he had not warned her of his intentions. She tried to erase it from her mind as she showered. She was making coffee when she happened to look out the kitchen window towards the barn and saw it.

She put the coffee carafe down and rushed to the door in disbelief. She opened the door and walked out onto the porch to reassure herself. There it was.

Parked by the barn was Beau’s van.

She was having a hard time interpreting her feelings. She was glad but still mad at how he left the night before. Why did he put her through that? What was he doing here? Why was he here?

She wasn’t sure how to react. She started to stomp back into the house, then stopped and turned. Staring at the van she stood still. The van just sat there offering no explanation.

Finally after considerable thought Lily cupped her hands and yelled at the van, “Coffee is on,” before turning and walking back into the kitchen. She said it so matter of factly that there was not a hint of “Glad to see you” reflected in her tone.

Several minutes later, there was a meek knock on the kitchen door.

“Doors open,” was all she said as she continued sipping on her coffee as she intentionally did not look at the doorway.

The door squeaked open as Beau slowly entered. Lucky followed immediately behind and without hesitation ran over to Lily. Lucky was not reluctant to share his feelings. His new best friend Lily was here and Lucky knew she was just about to get up and find him some food and drink. Lily petted her new friend.

It was almost music to Lucky’s ears to hear Lily say as she got up from her seat at the table, “Has Lucky been fed?” There was no hello, just a priority on Lucky’s needs needing to be filled. Lily made his tail wag.

It was a cold statement. It was sincere for Lucky, the coldness was for Beau’s benefit.

Beau just stood there, just inside the door. He wasn’t sure how welcome he was so he just stood there watching the scene unfold.

She shot Beau an irritated look, waiting for an answer. When none came, she raised both hands, palms up, in a gesture of exasperation, as if silently asking, Do I have to ask you again? Still, she said nothing.

“No, he hasn’t been fed yet,” Beau finally muttered, breaking free from his self-absorbed silence.

“Get your own coffee,” Lily said coldly as she walked to the refrigerator to find some scraps for Lucky.

Beau walked to the coffee pot, opened the cupboard, grabbed a cup and filled it. The only sound in the room was Lucky’s tail knocking against a chair leg as he awaited Lily’s treats.

“I’m sorry,” was the first thing out of Beau’s mouth. He stood there with his coffee not sure of what to say next.

“Well, I’m sorry, too,” Lily said. Having returned to her chair after filling Lucky’s bowl, she turned in and looked directly at Beau.

“What are you doing here?”

Beau knew he deserved the coldness Lily was showing. If it had been her doing that to him, he would be a little perturbed too.

“I got about an hour down the road before I realized that I hadn’t helped you complete your West Shed Adventure. I didn’t want to leave you hanging.”

“Leave me hanging?” She paused, “Are you going to think later, well, going back was a waste of gas?”

She took another sip of coffee before adding, “I don’t need your help to finish my Adventure.”

“Lily, I know you don’t need my help, you can do anything. You’re amazing.” He was a little embarrassed to hear himself express that thought verbally. “I just want to.”

He hesitated, hoping for a reply and when there was none, he added, “If you will let me…”

More silence filled the room.

“If the offer is still open?”

The questioning tone was Beau’s way of saying, say something.

“I just don’t get it.” Lily finally said. “If you ever do that to me again, you can just go and you can stay gone!”

“Again, I’m sorry.” Beau struggled to come up with answers in his own mind let alone vocalizing it.

“You have to understand that I am trying to figure things out myself and you just threw a giant wrench into my unplanned plans.”

He walked to the table and sat down. They looked at each other. Both of them were confused by their own feelings. The question of what the future held for each of them was cloudy. They both tried to see some kind of clarity in it all but there was none.

“Your unplanned plans need some planning,” Lily said.

She was contemplating whether she was even up to having Beau in her life if he was liable to just take off with or without notice. She didn’t need this kind of drama in her life. Yet, she couldn’t help but wonder if there wasn’t something of value that could come from a relationship with Beau. She liked him. She enjoyed his company. She loved Lucky.

“Okay,” Lily said. “Can you feed Alfred while I change into some work clothes?”

“I plan on it,” Beau said with a grin.

She wasn’t sure if she liked his grin and she showed it with a huff.

He was headed towards the door when she stood up from petting Lucky and confronted him again.

“I thought your code said you can’t travel down the same road twice?” She smirked.

Beau shrugged. “I took the back roads, not the highway.” as if that was a totally logical way of looking at it.

He walked to the kitchen door, stopped and turned around, looked at Lucky and said, “Hey Lucky, want to go on an adventure?”

Lucky’s tail wagged, his eyes glued to Beau’s. “Let’s see what the front door of Lily’s house looks like. We’ve aalready seen the kitchen door.”

Lily took in that conversation and had to smile. “Be sure you wipe your feet off before you go outside. I don’t want my front porch getting dirty.” Then she walked into her bedroom to put on her work clothes.

As they worked in the west shed for the next hour, they spoke only when necessary, their exchanges brief and impersonal.

Beau knew all this coldness was his fault. He didn’t see himself as the victim. Lily was the one he’d hurt. He missed the Lily he’d come to know over the past few days, and if he wanted her to return, it was going to take an effort on his part to make that happen.

“I’m scared,” he finally admitted out loud.

Lily was bent over a cardboard box, looking through the treasures her dad had left behind. At Beau’s words, she froze for a moment before resuming her search. She didn’t look at him or acknowledge what he’d said.

“I know you understand that I’m struggling with things right now, and I was totally unprepared for what you did to me,” Beau said, standing as he held a tool of some kind.

Lucky sat quietly, watching the two of them. At the moment, they seemed to be struggling with their own stubbornness and their desire to get beyond it. His tail stirred up a smidgen of dust with a single wag. For now, one wag was enough.

“Maybe did to me isn’t the right way to put it. Maybe did for me would be more accurate.”

Lily continued working, but she slowed a little each time Beau spoke. It was as if her mind had to borrow some of her attention from her hands to fully absorb what he was saying.

“You showed me there’s still hope. You showed me my heart isn’t totally broken. It still has some feeling left in it.”

He paused.

“You showed me I’m not dead, just wounded.”

Lily stopped what she was doing and straightened. She looked at Beau, then raised a hand to brush the blond hair from her eyes. Her dirty glove left a smudge on her cheek.

Beau stepped closer, raised his own gloved hand, and gently wiped at the dirt.

“There was some dirt on your face, but I think I just made it worse. Guess I’m a little out of practice.”

Lily burst out laughing.

“Damn it, Beau,” she said with a grin.

She raised her hand again to brush the hair from her face.

“I can’t seem to stay mad at you. You’re like a cute little puppy.”

“Oh, we don’t want to make Lucky jealous,” Beau said.

Lucky wagged his tail three times.

Something’s happening, he thought.

“Oh, Lucky has nothing to worry about. I loved him the first moment I laid eyes on him.” She said as she looked at him with a fondness.

“The best part of Lucky is that he knows how to express his affection. He isn’t willing to hide it. He could give you some lessons,” Lily said.

“Lily, I have to be honest with you, though. I am not going to just stay in this town, I will be leaving again. Maybe not today but soon. I just wasn’t willing to leave you the way I did. I need you to be on my side. I need you as my friend, not someone you dislike for the way I left you.” Beau wasn’t sure if this was the best time to tell her all this but it was out in the open now. It made him feel better knowing that she knows.

“Thanks for telling me that.” Lily said. “I can have a tenancy to hope for things that won’t come true. Knowing the situation better helps me to steer my hopes in the right direction. I couldn’t expect you to just move to this town.”

She said it like she was just realizing how difficult it would be for Beau to stay in one place. To call someplace home.

“Yeah.” Beau said, “There’s nothing for me in this town .” He said it almost as an after thought, like he was just saying it to himself.

“Nothing?” Lily said as she stopped what she was doing to hear his answer.

“Well…,” Beau realized he had just walked into a trap. How could he say what he was thinking without complicating his plan to leave.

“Well, there is this beautiful bright spot that makes this town pretty awesome,” Beau paused, “And of course, there’s Jerry. He’s pretty cool.”

Lily set the item she was holding down, walked past Beau, and lightly tapped him on the shoulder.

“Sometimes you’re hard to read, but sometimes you’re so transparent.”

She didn’t smile, but the knowing look on her face made it clear she wasn’t fooled.

“Now get back to work,” she said with a smile. “Your food and lodging here aren’t free, you know.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Beau said.

He turned back to the box of forgotten treasures.

Nothing between them was settled. He was still a drifter, and the road was still calling.

But for the first time in a long while, he wasn’t in such a hurry to answer it.